Just My 2Kobo: Empowering Our Kids Sexually

BY IPHIE MAUELZ

I know the title of this article looks controversial, so I am going to start off by saying, please just take some time to read it to the end, hopefully then I would have passed my message along and perhaps you would understand why I named it the way I did.
We all woke up to the appalling picture some months back of a little girl, maybe three years of age, definitely not more than five gratifying an obviously older man sexually. If you are active on BBM and twitter you must have seen the picture I am talking about, if you are not, then be glad you did not see the picture. Anytime I think of the picture, I am scared of having kids; to think somebody can be that evil and take out his evil fantasies on a little kid is very scary.

There has been numerous cases of kids involved in sexual encounters that they are not supposed to know anything about, I am sure you all remember the video of the little children having a go at it, the girl not a day over 14 and the little boy definitely not over 10. There were different attempts to explain why a girl that young should know so much about sex, the most popular conclusion reached was that someone had constantly molested her sexually from a very young age. If that was the case, it is very sad and very very scary. These things happen everyday and I am afraid it is now becoming the norm and as usual, Nigerians that we are, we lament about it and do nothing further about it.

Well, I say it is time for it to stop. It is time for us to take back the power from these sick molesters. It is time for us to give the power back to our kids; it is time for us to fight for them. It is time for us to start teaching our kids about sex. It is unfortunate that we no longer have to wait till their little minds are mature enough to know about sex, but it something we have to come to terms with, the world we live in has shown that we no longer have the luxury of waiting that long.
I remember trying to have the sex talk with my then 18-year-old sister and I must admit, it was the most uncomfortable conversation we have ever had. So yes I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be for parents to have the sex talk with their kids, but at least I have an idea of what it feels like. 

What I am proposing is very very simple and it does not even require the kids understanding the sexual lesson that you are trying to teach. As soon as you kids are able to understand instructions, mothers I propose that while you bathe them, you ask questions like, 'did anybody touch you here'! It is a very simple question that can save your child a lifetime of nightmares. You could also teach them names of parts of the body and let them know what parts they should not allow anyone (uncles, aunties, even immediate and extended family included) touch without mummy or daddy's permission.  I remember when we were younger, my mum used to tell us not to sit on the laps of older guys, in her words 'don’t go putting thoughts that weren’t initially there’. I know some mothers and fathers may be too busy to do this but when you realise the kinds of things that are done to kids, you would definitely take the time out to do this. When you cultivate the habit of asking these questions, if it happens eventually you would be the first to know. Mothers especially, you also have to be open and welcoming with your kids, make them feel free to come to you with the information, make them know that they should not be afraid to come to you with anything, make them aware that there is no need to keep any secrets from you. Also, you have to assure them that they would not be punished for coming forward with such information, let them know that they haven’t done anything wrong.

The focus of sex education has always been on the girl child, but it is time to include the boys also, I saw a picture involving a little boy on twitter that irritated the hell out of me. Have the sex talk with your little boy too; they are exposed to molesters as well. In the long run educating them about sex this early makes having the real sex talk with them a lot easier when the time comes.

It is time for us to start EMPOWERING OUR KIDS SEXUALLY.