Just My 2Kobo: Destroying Tomorrow's Leaders Today

BY ELLA


Growing up in the early 90's was quite fun for me. There was always some party to attend. If my mum wasn't throwing one for my birthday, I was attending one. Life was good.

I looked forward to these parties with relish because it was simply an opportunity to dress up in mini ball gowns,decorate my hair with colourful ribbons,wear frilly socks  and  pretty flat shoes (usually with a strap  and  buckle across. lol) as i write i have a mental picture of me on my 7th birthday looking exactly as i have described  and of course with one or 2 teeth out. Hahahhaha

For me, these parties were always a time to shine  and  "show" yourself by winning a prize or two for answering a quiz or riddle correctly. There was also recitation of poems, books of the bible in order, singing of a "special number" etc. Answering questions correctly  and getting a gift for the effort made one feel intelligent  απϑ  u could see the huge smile on your mum's face. Of course a party isn't complete without dance so there was also the dance competition where we would dance round some chairs fewer than the dancers until a winner emerged (i never won this game.)

Recently I was the birthday party of a one year old here in Abuja  and I couldn't help but marvel at how much things have changed over the years.

First of  all  let me point out that here in Abuja I have noticed that a child's birthday party is almost some sort of carnival. I see the rich trying to outdo each other with venue ,food, side attractions etc.  and  the middle class (if there's still something like that in this country) struggling to play "catch up". A friend of mine whose daughter was turning 3years  this year  was telling me how she needed to "turn up the swag of her child's party to beat the parties of the other kids in her daughter's class", what for? Everything is a class thing now,everyone is suddenly trying to belong. So much competition! Smh.

Let me paint an typical picture for u ; A young couple's baby is turning one, invitations are sent out,venue is either a posh garden, pool side etc. Bouncing castles are pumped up on the side to entertain kids  and  a clown is almost always present. Aside from the regular food, which is mostly a buffet, there is ice cream  and wafers, pop corn  and  of course a take away pack which holds exotic gifts for the kids.

Now let me get to the crux of the matter bothering me. The duty of the clown is basically to engage these kids in fun games right? But the only game I see available these days is dance! Dance!! Dance!!!.  During the dance competitions I keenly watch the kids especially the girls as they move their bodies. Omo! No be  small moves!  These kids know the latest songs and  steps  and  even dance better than most adults (well, at least better than me. lol) .They roll  and whine their tiny waists  and  even try to pull some seductive stunts while their parents cheer on . What?

I wait patiently for the clown to start another game but its another form of dance competition involving the parents this time  and  am like, seriously? Is that it? Is that all  there is to a birthday party nowadays? Nothing educating,informative? No poems, rhymes, songs? We just gather kids now just for them to show off new steps they know? You've got to be kidding me! Or am i ancient??? I have been to several parties including the ones organised for my little ones  and they are all the same. Sad, very sad.

I do not have a problem with parties. Its a beautiful thing to call friends to come  and  celebrate with you. But can we have something more than just a booty-shaking-nothing-else-to-do-party for these kids? Why exactly are these clowns paid? It can't just be to help the kids practice their azonto  and  etighi steps. Why is so much money spent on  an event which won't engage these budding fertile minds?

I have little ones around me  and  I meet with children often  and most do not know basic poems  and  funny songs we learnt back then, some can't sing the national anthem  and say the pledge properly, but guess what,a regular kid of about 8-12yrs knows gangam style moves  and sings kukere very well! This is worrisome indeed! At least to me.

The dresses worn by these kids to parties is another story. It has to be showy or nothing. For this one I blame the mothers. I still cannot for the life of me fathom  why a six year old is subjected to the torture of fixing weavons! Absurd if you ask me. It is really not necessary. Why not leave  a child to enjoy being child and  when she grows, enjoy being an adult? Instead of making her skip childhood right into adulthood. These children simply follow the trend we set for them. We cannot complain of how badly some young ladies dress even to church when we dress our kids that way too. The excuse of "they are just kids now" isn't good enough because the early age is the time when the foundation for a decent life is laid. We know PHCN  and  the sun have connived to drive us crazy with heat but it is still no excuse for near nudity.

I will like to implore everyone especially the  young parents to plan more meaningful parties when next there is a reason to celebrate. Try  and  ensure the kids go home with something informative. organise educational games, something they will remember your party for. We can make learning fun  and those are the ones that stick.

On a final note,to raise better children we would be proud of tomorrow, parents should please ensure they monitor what their kids watch both on tv  and  internet. It seems the ratings of movies  and  programs on television have been ignored if not where  and  how do these kids learn ugly stuff? There are great educational programmes kids they can be restricted to instead of allowing them glue their eyes to Soundcity, Mtv Base & African Magic channels.

As a child my dad used to tell me "no one is given an award for watching a lot of tv because it makes one stupid  and  unintelligent" honestly this helped me. (I guess that's why it takes me about 2-3 days to watch one movie from start to finish on my laptop! Lol) A good friend of mine told me they were allowed only an hour of tv everyday  while they were growing  up and  the rest of the time they spent it doing something constructive or school homework.  I honestly think we should borrow a leaf from this and caution our kids on what they watch. Let's Engage them positively.

Now that I have poured this out, I feel better! Phew! I only hope this piece doesn't rub off the wrongly on some people. I do mean well . I am only burdened  and  saddened at the extent of decay  and  decline in the society. Our society is fast losing its values  all  in the name of westernisation/civilisation. At this rate , nothing will be left for our children to hold on to.  I write this in good faith, hoping and praying for a better society

Emmanuella Nwabundo Enweonwu is a lawyer, a volunteer program officer with Society for Community development (SCD), free lance writer and a makeup artist. She is passionate about what she does and very enthusiastic about the quest for a Better Nigeria.