JUST MY 2Kobo: HEY I AM NIGERIAN, DO YOU LIKE MY FAKE ACCENT?

BY IPHIE OBIECHINA

What is it with our actors and actresses, our TV presenters and our On Air Personalities (OAPs) and having a fake accent? Most of them just make sounds without communicating; my imaginary dog can do that

I listen to the radio a lot, especially when I am driving alone, I like to have the 'presence' of another person in the car with me, LOL, weird right? But I have had to buy a lot CDs because instead of listening to the fake accent all day, I prefer to listen to music. And it annoys me because there is this presenter I love so much, we share the same ideas on so many things but I just can't stand the fake accent. I also like to listen to the news as I drive, but I can’t do that anymore? I watch Nigerian movies sometimes just for the fun of laughing at their stupidity and it is the same thing everywhere; the fake accent just pains my ears.

Everybody now wants to talk with a foreign accent, I begin to wonder what is wrong with the Nigerian accent? It doesn't matter if the accent is British, American, Jamaican, French, German, Indian, Asian or Togolese, as long as it is not Nigerian, bam, it can go on our radio and Tv stations. There is this particular station on DSTV, you all know the one I am talking about, I can stand tuning into it because all you hear are people who sound like airheads, I think it is even a criteria for being employed at this station, the more ‘airheaded’ you sound the better your chances of being employed. Lets not even talk about the ones that make all the announcements at the airport, you might miss your flight if you keep listening to them, my secret is to identify people who are on the same flight with me and watch my departure gate like a hawk. The horrible ones are the airhosts/airhostesses that give air safety instruction just before take off. Hmmm, if you don’t listen carefully don’t ask me what the said in case of an emergency oh.

What is the fascination with a foreign accent? You just end up making a fool of yourself because, the message you are trying to get across gets lost in attempt to wrap it in a foreign accent. I remember one time in school during a group presentation, the two other Nigerian students were in the same group, when it was their turn to present, lets just say I was embarrassed to be Nigerian. Not only were they saying bullocks, they were saying it in an accent that no one could understand, even the teachers were confused. They kept asking each other what they were saying, I sat in front of them, my teachers, so I saw them scribble words like 'psycho' and 'crazy' between themselves.

It is both sad and annoying that we are not proud of our own accent. I remember a call between myself and somebody when I was in the UK, the person's reaction to my Nigerian accent was, 'ahhhnn, you still have your Nigerian accent, it hasn't changed'?, this was barely six months after I got to the UK, I was like ‘hian, na so the accent dey misplace’. This is an accent I have had all my life, why would it suddenly change? And when I got back I got a similar question. I cannot remember who I had these conversations with, but I remember what I felt both times, disappointment. I was upset that you expect my accent to change because I was in the UK for less than two years, come on, I have lived in Nigeria all my life, my accent cannot just decide to walk out on me. I would understand if you expect me to speak clearer, but not if you expect me to just acquire a British accent by a year+'s worth of association.

But then again it is what the Nigerian society 'expects', they treat anything foreign as the ultimate. I remember when I came home, I wanted to do something through the normal process, that didn't get me anywhere on day one and I had to come back another day. When I came back, I still came back looking to get things done the right way, but when I saw that wasn’t working out, I acquired an accent in two seconds, I sounded funny to myself throughout the conversation, because I knew that wasn't me, but it got me what I wanted. I wrote an article about it and my friend decided to acquire an accent too, the accent got him what he wanted done in less time than people that were there before them. I was disappointed in myself for having to sink that low to get what I want, but I was more disappointed in a society that treats everything foreign as better than everything Nigerian.
Now, I am not saying a foreign accent is bad, by all means acquire one if you opportuned to live in a country or area where you can get an accent that leaves you sounding like a distinguished English professor. Now the accent I have a problem with is the one that leaves you sounding like an American thug, 'I wanna ganna, I ganna wanna' type of accent.

It is really simple, in my opinion, as long as you can make clear sentences that people understand, it doesn't really matter if your voice is Igbo or Yoruba flavoured. I used to love listening to Cool 96.9 when I was in Uni, the presenters were trained to speak in a clear manner, devoid of any accent, cant say the same today. Enunciate properly, be grammatically accurate, that’s all you really need in my opinion when you are speaking to others, whether to one person or to an entire nation.

Get rid of the accent or lose listeners and fans like me. In my opinion, the fake accent is just a manifestation of your low self esteem, I don't understand why you would want to sound grating to the ears over sounding like yourself, Nigerian. It must be hard work having to fake an accent every time you have to communicate.

But then again, what do I know, I have an opinion on almost everything.