Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Just My 2Kobo: Advice and the 'Pinchy' Shoes
By Iphie Obiechina
Have you ever given advice that you thought was perfectly sound for the situation, only to have the person turn around and not take your advice? Remember going on about how the person is a fool and how he/she is stupid for deciding to go on with that situation? Remember saying "it’s not your fault, it’s me that refused to keep my mouth shut, it’s me that gave you advice now, next time I would just shut up" ?
Have you taken time out to ask yourself why he or she chose to go on with this situation? Have you ever tried taking your own advice?
Truth is when we find ourselves in similar situations, taking our own advice becomes a herculean task. It’s easy to give out advice especially when we have never been in those shoes, but it is very difficult to take the same advice. Especially when it comes to the matters of the heart, advices come easily, yet it is so difficult to take that same piece of advice.
For instance, a woman whose husband has turned her into a daily punching bag turns to you for advice. As a good friend, your best advice to her is to "leave the b*****d right?" and when she refuses’ to leave him, you tell her about how "stupid and weak" she is right? Sometimes we don’t always say it aloud but we sure are thinking it.
Now, imagine the tables have turned, your boyfriend hits you, say, just once. Taking your own advice becomes a herculean task. You start making excuses for him, remembering all the good times you both had together, using the good times to make up for the bad times. What about the girl with the serial cheat for a boyfriend? As a good friend your advice is, "leave him abeg, he is not the only fish in the sea". Well the tables have turned, yet you are unable to same, unable to take your own advice.
I am not saying your advice is a bad one, far from that. All I am saying is, be gentle on your friends, loved ones or whosoever you are giving advice to when they don’t take this advice. The truth is, until you have been in their shoes, you don’t know how hard it is to take this advice.
Next time, when giving advice, remember to be a strong shoulder to lean on during the implementation of your advice. Don’t get mad when your advice is not taken, just remember to be there for them through it all, that is what is important.