She
sat next to me in the bus, pretty young thing ignoring her phone. It rang again
and she did what she had been doing for the last twenty minutes - checked who
it was and dropped it back into her bag hissing. I swore under my breath that
the next time I heard her annoying ring tone, I would throw it out of the bus
(you know those ring tones found in “China phones” that are always loud and
irritating). It rang again (I still don’t know why I didn’t throw it out) this
time she picked the call.
“What!”
she asked irritated and annoyed.
“No,
I can’t make it… I’m still at the office and it would take me time to get home”
she answered the caller.
I
looked around me just to make sure I was in a bus and not her office as she
lied, I felt like saying “Haba, aunty” but instead I chose to mind my business.
“No
no no… don’t wait for me, I’ll be long” she was saying evidently annoyed
“I
said I don’t know when I’ll be back…”
“Is
it that you are not hearing me or is it that you don’t understand…” she
retorted
“Look,
do what ever you like “
At
that instant, I felt totally ashamed. Who was this guy that was dragging our
gender into the mud? I felt like dragging the phone from her and screaming into
it “De girl talk say she no wan make you wait for am, Na by force!” She had hung up by now but the idiot kept
calling back. Obviously, she did not pick it thus we were stuck with that
annoying ring tone. Fifteen minutes later, (I guess) the phone was still ringing,
talk about resilience abi na tenacity?
The
whole thing made me think, what was so special about the lady seated besides me
that would make a guy call over and over again? Was it her cooking? Did she owe
him money? (Nah! I do not think so) Or was it her looks (for the record, she
wasn’t all that) maybe he was in love (I doubt it) or was she the best he ever
had? I choose to go with the later. Still, why should a man or who ever take
all that embarrassment.
“You
again?” she said surprised, (he must have used an unknown number) snapping me
away from my thoughts.
“Look
Simon, I said I don’t know how soon I would be back, don’t bother waiting for
me”
“If
you like wait…” she said giving up evidently exasperated.
So,
the fool’s name was Simon, funny enough, I know a Simon that could do something
similar (so, maybe it was a Simon thing... Simon Itodo na joke o.)
She
was done with her call again allowing me to get back to my thoughts. I tried to
imagine how this Simon dude was like, was he that dumb that he actually
couldn’t hear all the hostility in her voice or did he just choose not to hear
them? Nigger please.
Her
phone rang again but this time it wasn’t the annoying China phone ring tone,
this tone was the real deal. I looked at her as she picked her Nokia N63 phone.
“Hey you,” she answered excitedly.
“Jide
is not like that… in fact, I should be in town very soon…”
Aha,
so Jide got to be saved in a Nokia N63 while Simon got the China phone I
thought.
“Immediately
I get into town I would come straight to your place” she was saying.
I
felt like asking her what about Simon, the poor dude would be left waiting
probably in front of her door step.
And
it hit me, that was life for you. We had the Simon’s who got the China phones
and got talked to disrespectfully (may be the deserved it, that I can’t say) and
the Jides that got the Nokia N63’s and got spoken to like kings. Sometimes,
Simons become Jides and vice versa but which ever way the table decides to
turn, I remain a Jide.
At
this point, we had reached our destination and as we alighted from the bus
her China phone rang again, again (repetition should be permitted in this
instant) and for the first time I saw the screen of the phone, it read. “MUGU 2
calling”
Obviously
she did not pick it up, this time she switched it off and dropped it back into
her bag. I shuck my head in pity walking away “There goes the end to the sad
story of Simon the Mugu.”
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